Does Having Your Own Divorce Make You a Better Divorce Coach or Mediator?
Does having your own personal divorce experience make you a better mediator or divorce coach? So often I see other professionals explaining how they can relate to you because they’ve been through it. They know what to expect and they tell you their personal stories. Of course there is some value in their divorce experience. But is it a prerequisite?
As someone who has been married for 16 years and does not have my own divorce experience, I would argue that being divorced yourself is most certainly not a requirement to be an effective divorce coach or divorce mediator. In fact, going through your own divorce may hurt your ability to be a neutral professional. Divorce is such a painful, life changing disruption and we are only human. Oftentimes I wonder how a mediator can remain neutral if he/she has been through a similar situation as their clients. Everyone has bias’ to begin with. But add in your own personal divorce experience and the bias may be too much. Of course this doesn’t apply to every situation.
Additionally, someone going through a divorce does not necessarily derive value from hearing about the professional they hire’s personal divorce experience. And, I would venture to say most don’t care. They want to know how you can serve them in their own personal situation.
Your divorce is fundamentally a business transaction. Even with coaching I explain to my clients that their emotions should not play into deciding how to divide their stuff. This only ends up costing them more time and money. Divorce is painful and the feelings associated with it are legitimate and we deal with them in a constructive way so as not to interfere with you having an efficient divorce.
Please contact divorceharmony.com to learn more about an efficient divorce experience. Whether you are looking for divorce mediation, coaching or document preparation, we can help.