Ego: It’s All About Me?
It’s all about me? A person’s ego can have a huge impact on the success of a mediation. A healthy ego and sense of self can make for straightforward negotiations. BUT most people in a divorce mediation take the conflict personally, which is entirely normal. The difference lies in whether you can take a deep breath and a step back and acknowledge that the outcome of the mediation is not a reflection of one’s self as a person.
During different stages of the mediation, all parties go through various thought processes and emotions. For instance, you may be invested in a particular outcome. When you see mid-mediation that the exact outcome of your wishes is no longer a reality, are you able to release these expectations and move forward with a new reality? Is your sense of self strong enough to facilitate this? Or conversely, is your sense of self/ego one in which you do not want to be seen as weak for not getting what you set out to?
Someone with a healthy ego is able to recognize, not just one’s self but the person across the table as well. To recognize that they have expectations and thoughts is an enormous benefit to a successful mediation. To be able to look at the issues objectively and not just how they affect oneself is key.
It’s important to be aware of your ego and your expectations when entering into mediation. Of course, having a healthy ego where you can be flexible throughout the process doesn’t mean you should be taken advantage of. A fine balance is required. My responsibility as mediator is to help parties navigate issues of expectations so we may come to an agreement that is rewarding for all parties at the table. Please contact divorceharmony.com for more information.