How Do I Start a Divorce?

A common question I get from new clients is: “how do I start a divorce“? It’s a great question because if you begin the process in the correct way it will lead you to a much more successful outcome. Many people dive headfirst into divorce when emotions are high and their guards down which can end in disaster. It’s tough in the moment but if a little research is done and some time given you can have a successful divorce.

Steps To Take When Starting A Divorce:

1. Do You Really Want a Divorce?

Before taking any action I always ask my clients if this is really what they want. It’s a heavy decision so absolute clarity is necessary. If you’re not sure then marital mediation is a great option to help you and your partner decide which way to go. We offer that here at divorceharmony.com.

2. Communicate With Your Spouse

Speak with your spouse if that’s possible about your intentions to start a divorce. The more communication you have with each other the better. See if you’re on the same page. Start talking about your expectations and how you want to handle this. Can you work together? Perhaps the help of a therapist or mediator can assist you in figuring out how you will move forward and ways to ask for a divorce.

3. Organize Important Documents 

Even before taking any action get together some important documents that you will need. These include:

• W-2’s
• bank account statements
• real estate records
• retirement accounts
• insurance
• mortgage
• personal property lists
• credit card statements
• tax documents
• vehicle information
• social security cards
• and birth certificates.

There will be much to stress over so if you’re prepared as humanly possible it will alleviate some of that tension before beginning your divorce.

4. Reach Out 

Now is the time to gather and collect all the resources at your disposal. Find out as much as you can about divorce. Seek out trusted friends who have been through the process and other people in your community that have knowledge on the subject. Find helpful recommendations for guidance in divorce books, websites, or other media. What worked for them and what didn’t?

5. Use Your Intuition 

Ultimately, you know yourself best. You know what will work for you and what won’t. When meeting with possible attorneys, mediators, or other divorce professionals to prepare for divorce, use your instinct to feel out if they will be a good fit. Do they share the same philosophy as you? Also, look for any red flags like bar complaints or bad reviews.

6.Filing for Divorce

How do you file a divorce? Well, it depends on the kind of divorce you have decided to go forward with. It really depends on if you will have your spouse served in a contested divorce or if you have decided together to try an uncontested divorce where you file together. The latter is becoming a much more popular option to give the parties more control over their own personal life and it saves massive amounts of money and time. Here at divorceharmony.com, we specialize in no court, uncontested divorce. 

7. Social Media 

During the time that you decide to start your divorce, it’s important to be aware of your social media presence and the way you go about your day to day life. Even if you stay friends with your ex, it may be a good idea to limit your social media interaction with them and to keep things more to yourself during the divorce process.

8. Take Time For You

Divorce will be one of the most stressful times of your life. Try to take time out to do things for yourself. Whether it’s finding a new hobby or engaging in self-care like exercise, it’s important to keep yourself mentally and physically healthy. This can help you make smart decisions with a clear head.

There is a lot of information to digest and you definitely want to make sure that the correct preparation is done before going forward with starting your divorce. However, this can be an exciting time as it’s the start of a fresh new year and hopefully a more peaceful and energizing new chapter.