How Do You Know You Really Want To Get Divorced?

 In Budgeting, Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Divorce Planning

How do I know I should get divorced?

Making the divorce decision

Making The Decision To Divorce 

You’ve thought about it,

You’ve looked online,

Maybe you’ve even discussed it with friends or professionals.

Maybe it’s actually your partner that is calling for a

But this is a life-changing decision and one that requires
thoughtful reflection.

 Things To Consider

Do you still have feelings for your spouse?

Feelings for your spouse

1. Do you still have feelings for your spouse?

Some people thinking about divorce still have feelings for their partner but a lack of communication or other issues may be pulling the relationship apart. It’s important to figure things out before proceeding with a divorce. The assistance of a psychologist or other professional may be helpful.

2. Are you really ready or just threatening divorce?

Many times, when we are in heated arguments with our spouse divorce is used as a threatening device out of frustration or anger and to possibly gain some kind of control over the situation. But do you really mean it? If so, realize there is no need for threats anymore. You can gain control and adjust your mindset.

Heated reactions can lead you down the divorce path.

Reactions Leading to Divorce

3. Are you reacting to a particular situation or behavior of your spouse or have you thought about this from a non-heated place?

Take a deep breath and access everything when you are calm. Deciding to divorce is a heavy decision and should only be made with a clear head and should be a decision you can support over time. Emotionally charged decisions are not wise ones-even when those emotions are
completely valid.

4. What are your intentions with the divorce?

Are you hoping that starting the divorce process will be a wake-up call for your spouse? It is not wise to use divorce as a tool to improve your marriage. It really is a last resort. Divorce means the end of a marriage.

5. Can you deal with the negative feelings of divorce?

Divorce brings many negative emotions to the surface. Hurt, disappointment, anger, failure, shame, rejection among other feelings. Will you be able to manage them?

6. Are you ready for your Children’s upset feelings and unpredictable behavior?

Your kids may be sad and angry-even at you. Are you prepared to deal with their changing needs?

Lifestyle changes are to be expected in a divorce

Changes in your Finances

7. Your lifestyle may be vastly different.

Divorce causes rifts in the family’s financial structure. Are you perhaps ready to downsize, reduce your expectations, and face uncertainty and maybe insecurity?

Take control of your life and the divorce process

You are in the driver’s seat

8. Are you ready to take control of your life?

Whether it was you wanting the divorce or your spouse, are you ready to move forward in a healthy way without holding onto bitterness?

9. Marital Mediation 

Here at Divorce Harmony, we offer a specialized form of mediation called marital mediation. Very few divorce professionals specialize in this. We can mediate whether or not you should get the divorce, keep things status quo or decide together to work on the marriage for a specified period of time.  This is vastly different than traditional couple’s counseling. It is time-sensitive and action-based. Please inquire with us to learn more about this service. 


The above steps are all very important questions to ask yourself before moving forward. If you would like more information about deciding whether to get a divorce and the impact it may have on your life and your children’s lives please contact us for a free 20-minute consultation. We can work on a plan custom fit for you and what you want and hope for the future. [email protected] or (917) 353-5153. 

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