Removing the Shame of Divorce

Shame and Divorce

Removing the Shame of Divorce

Even though divorce is quite common in our society there is an unfortunate stigma and shame still attached to it. Couples often feel shame and embarrassment about their “failure”.  Somehow they are inferior for allowing this to happen to their relationship. This leads to many issues being swept under the rug and not properly dealt with because of shame, embarrassment, and/or depression.   Maybe this means “lawyering” up and immediately going on the offensive to offset feelings of sadness or in-adequateness. When people are overwhelmed with emotion, they often lose all perspective. Everyone in life has their “failures” whether it’s a relationship, business, or their health. This is what makes us human. Nobody is perfect in every category.

To acknowledge that your marriage is over takes a special kind of courage. In fact, if you can remove the shame and the clouds, it’s quite possible that you’ll come out on the other side realizing that your divorce is actually a positive step towards your new life. A life with a renewed sense of meaning. Feel proud about making this step.

The feelings of shame or exclusion are real and hurtful but it helps to know that you are not alone. Find groups or individuals who are going through similar life changes. You are not the only one. Additionally, hold those friends and family close that are supportive of you and distance yourself from the people in your life that elicit those feelings of shame.

Mediation is a wonderful tool because it carries on this theme of living life day by day and not feeling ashamed. You are acknowledging the end of your marriage but don’t feel the need to go out to battle. Decisions are made mindfully and thoughtfully helping you to transition to your new stage in life as smoothly as possible.  You can really think about your future and what you want it to look like.  If you are ready to move on with your life contact divorceharmony.com to learn how we can help.