7 Things You Shouldn’t Do During Divorce
Divorce is one of those things life never really prepares you for. After all, not many people include separation on their bucket lists. Still, this doesn’t mean you can simply wing the entire process, especially if kids and valuable assets are involved. Since divorce usually comes packed with all sorts of overwhelming emotions, you might be tempted to take actions that are, to say the least, not wise. As a result, you could end up with the short end of the stick, which is entirely preventable with just a bit of planning and preparation. To help you not lose control over the circumstances, here are 7 things you shouldn’t do during a divorce.
1. Be dishonest
No matter how tempting it may be, you should never try to take the easy route and lie your way through a divorce. Dishonesty could seriously harm you, depending on your situation. Besides, it would only further complicate an already complex process.
Therefore, when it comes to things such as possessions, assets, money, and debt, make sure to tell the truth. Under no circumstances should you try to hide anything you have. In the end, that expensive coffee maker or even a car won’t be what brings you happiness. What matters is maintaining a clear conscience, and you can achieve this only by playing fair.
2. Drag your kids into it
Divorces are tough on children, which is why making the experience harder than it needs to be is one of the most important things you shouldn’t do during a divorce. A supportive and loving environment is imperative for kids to go through it with minimal consequences on their mental and emotional health.
Therefore, it would be best if you avoided mentioning your spouse in a negative context in front of them. It is very easy to manipulate your children since you are who they trust the most. Still, this would only lead to confusion and hurt in the future, which is probably something you don’t want for them.
Never talk badly about your partner in front of the kids.
1. Not explore your options
If you haven’t heard by now – divorces are expensive. If you go into one unprepared and uninformed, you probably won’t have a good time from a financial point of view. But how do you prepare?
Well, first, you need to understand that a pricey courtroom divorce is not your only option. Other solutions like mediation could be an excellent choice for you and your spouse if you don’t want to waste your time and money. This way, you could avoid paying that hefty hourly fee for a lawyer, presuming there are no severe issues that need to be dealt with.
2. Increase your debt
Finances are always easier to manage when two people are in charge. Aside from divorces costing an arm and a leg, you will potentially need to decide where to live and get reaccustomed to being the only source of income in your life. All of this could take a significant toll on your budget, which is why you need to be particularly careful about your spendings. This is probably not a good time for any big purchases, so avoid buying anything expensive until you get the hang of your new circumstances.
3. Be unrealistic about your demands
Depending on what you went through in your marriage, you might now believe you are entitled to get anything you ask for. However, it might be a good idea to try and look at things a bit more objectively. Greed and unreasonable demands will only unnecessarily complicate and prolong the entire divorce. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t fight and stand up for the things you deserve – just make sure you are realistic. Besides, what good are material things if there are many negative emotions tied to them?
Fight for what is yours, but don’t be unreasonable with your demands!
1. Begin a new relationship before a divorce is final
There is no right or wrong amount of time that needs to pass after one relationship ends for another to begin. Still, you might want to reconsider rushing into something new before your divorce is finalized. This is a very sensitive time during which many emotions are being stirred. With that said, it might be tempting to look for consolation in a new partner. However, not only could this complicate the entire divorce process, but it probably isn’t very good for your delicate emotional state either.
2. Do things out of spite
Couples decide to end their relationships for many reasons, some of which are often very hurtful and complex. So, even though love may not be an emotion you are experiencing, you are likely dealing with many other overwhelming sensations like anger and resentment. And while controlling these feelings is easier said than done, it’s imperative not to let them control you. If your rage or other emotions take over, writing a Facebook essay on the topic or gently scratching your soon-to-be ex-partner’s car might seem like an excellent idea. However, you will only be harming yourself this way. Instead, try to find healthier ways to cope. Talk to your loved ones, pick up a new hobby, or practice good old self-care.
Final thoughts
Whether they are amicable or not, separations are never easy. Yes, the fresh start that comes after definitely is something to look forward to, but that’s precisely why you need to play your cards right in the first place. These 7 things you shouldn’t do during divorce are only the essentials; the list could be a lot longer. Still, if you follow your moral compass and avoid making rash decisions driven by emotions, you probably won’t need an instruction manual to come out of the whole thing unharmed. Don’t forget to focus your attention on what matters – your mental health, children, and maintaining civil relationships with everyone involved – and you should do just fine!
Photos used:
